Coffee2words
I write, read and review, I blog frequently and love anything to do with books and writing, including editing. I am a Book Nerd and I wear that badge with pride. http://coffee2words.wordpress.com
My eyes... my poor, poor eyes!
DNF @ 3%!
1% - a lot of passive sentences, weird imagery and sentence structure.
...timidly flickers he them open (transpose flickers and he)
I read for an hour, 2% in and I'm developing a tick from the weird way sentences are structured. It reads really wrong.
Examples from Chapter 1 - 2% in:
1. ...his toes are painted a dry brown shade, crusted with skin peeling...
2. Despite looks, the damage feels light for there is barely any pain in the numbing chill...
3. Someone is shouting off in the distance, but he is unable to make out any words, and then silence resumes.
4. ...which sends a dizzy spell over him what he tells himself is nothing.
5. Stalk naked, with wild alarm brimming in his eyes he looks into the face of someone who could be him, only older, with his hands gloved from the cold.
3