I write, read and review, I blog frequently and love anything to do with books and writing, including editing. I am a Book Nerd and I wear that badge with pride. http://coffee2words.wordpress.com
Diary of the Gone had some great twists. I wasn't sure to start with who was doing what, if it was all in Callum's head or not.
Ivan is blessed with being able to write quite good imagery into his scenes. There were some really creepy scenes, almost to the point where my skin was crawling. This was particularly applicable when reading about the images of the dead Callum could see.
On the whole, the characters were very likeable. Callum, a 15-year-old boy who sees the dead, was surprisingly amusing in his own way. I liked the barbed comments between him and Beverly, his sister. I would have liked to see a bit more substance to a couple of the characters though. In particular, Vivian and Callum's mum.
I think the story was great, the ideas fresh and the writing did the story and characters justice, but I would have liked more detail about the victims - conditions the victims stayed in too. The ending was very quick - perhaps a little too quick, I would have liked it a little more drawn out. Especially when speaking about the climax. It was all over very quickly and I think it left a lot missing.
Ultimately, this book read like a cross between The ghost whisperer and Harry Potter, particularly the character of Harry in The Philosopher's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets.
I'm not sure if this would fit into the Young Adult genre. The protagonist is young, but the content is a bit too graphic for YA audiences. Perhaps it's a better fit for New Adult?
The story does need an editor to fix up a few structural issues and some minor line editing and proofing.
A few things I noticed:
3% - ...owned (up) to it?"
He just put something in the microwave then leaves the house... Even silly young boys would be likely to stop the microwave before leaving.
76% - ..her die?" I (delete I, add she) asked.