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I write, read and review, I blog frequently and love anything to do with books and writing, including editing. I am a Book Nerd and I wear that badge with pride.  http://coffee2words.wordpress.com

Currently reading

What Tomorrow May Bring
Deborah Rix, Shelbi Wescott, Joseph A. Turkot, David J. Normoyle, Cary Caffrey, Samantha Durante, Megan Thomason, Jenni Merritt, David Estes, Susan Kaye Quinn, Tony Bertauski

Meritropolis, the hunger games meets The Village, with a young Jack teacher protagonist: doesn't quite get there

Meritropolis - Joel Ohman

Meritropolis, the hunger games meets The Village, with a young Jack teacher protagonist.

Well that's the line Joel is trying to sell us, I don't think he quite gets there.

I liked the scoring system, it made me think of the Justin Timberlake movie 'In Time' with the branding and worth of humans being placed heavily on the brand.

I had some issues with Charley. Despite his dramatic childhood, he still seemed to get through everything with relative ease. Yes, he'd been fighting since a kid, but there is a hell of a big difference between a kid and a raging Bion.

Speaking of Bions, I thought the animal combinations were rather fresh and something that gave the story it's flash flavour.

The writing was at times great, at others average. There's a fair bit of guff that can be cut. Cutting it will make the story crisper and more engaging. As it is now, there's a lot of repetition and character explanation that makes parts of the story drag.

Probably suitable for Young Adult audiences 14yrs + or younger with prior adult checking, this book should appeal to those looking for an adventure and story of a battle against an oppressor.

A number of things I noticed:
3% - After all, which of... Seems a bigger font size to the previous writing.

15% - please stop telling us Charley learned how to fight and win from an early age. We get it!
22% - should Down Syndrome be both caps, no caps? Whatever, keep it consistent.
40-42% - that was waaaaaaay too easy!!
46% - ...his way to see his(delete his) Sven...
52% - ...trying (to) match her furiously...
55% - I know his pants are too big! Quit telling me please!
57% - ...break some of your previous (delete previous add precious) equipment...
70% - "Well,, (double punctuation)

**Note: I was provided an electronic copy of this book in return for an honest review.**