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Lynxie

Coffee2words

I write, read and review, I blog frequently and love anything to do with books and writing, including editing. I am a Book Nerd and I wear that badge with pride.  http://coffee2words.wordpress.com

Endgame: very interesting plot, not so great execution.

Endgame - Nenia Campbell
Endgame: very interesting plot, not so great execution.

description

Meet Volera (Vol) is our protagonist. She's feisty, fairly snarky and a lil bit kickass too, but I didn't like her. Why? Well, it seemed too much. Something was off about her from the first word.

Things seemed to be perfectly placed in the story to tease us about a bigger plot twist, but it'd dart temptingly close then disappear again. This shows Nenia's ability to write, but it didn't impact on the characters as it should have. Their reactions felt wrong.

The world building in this book is vast and quite creative. I'd have liked a little more in each Virtual Reality (VR), but it was a good base to start with.

Our love interest/s, well, I'm all for the silent, brooding type, or the slightly creepy asshole type, or even the mentally deranged. But what I don't like is all of them smooshed into one person. That one person surrounded by a bevy of other 'prissy' boys that seem too pretty to possibly of interest to Vol. Eugh! Pass me a bucket, I'm going to be sick!

description

The story was a little confusing at times, like it felt that some of the scene changes weren't obvious. One minute we're talking with a character, the next we're in a game, the next we're dreaming... it was quite confusing in parts. Not the whole thing, just a couple of important parts. I think a little clearing up of scene changes would help that a lot.

As part of a series, you don't really get any sort of closure at the end of this one. I don't like that. It also needs a serious edit. There's a lot of superfluous words that can be cut, clunky wording and of course, typos. I've listed the typos I found, but there's probably a few I missed.

If you like gaming, you'll enjoy the world this is set in. If you're a sci-fi fan, you'll probably enjoy this. If you're neither, don't go near it with a 50ft pole.
11% - ...throwing of(f) dazzling diamonds...
21% - ...foot hits something stuff (either stop at something or change stuff to stiff or solid).
22% - ...cold win(d) nips at her...
28% - ...slams the doors hut (door shut)
33% - I bet (beg) to differ...
...in his face For (for) tricking her...
37% - The creatures (delete the s) approaches her...
42% - ...and the sun's days (rays) skewer...
47% - ...ground beneath t he (the) building...
80% - ...would be aloud (a loud) silence;
95% - ...in two worlds as (at) once.
96% - Not(-)Vol's nails...