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Lynxie

Coffee2words

I write, read and review, I blog frequently and love anything to do with books and writing, including editing. I am a Book Nerd and I wear that badge with pride.  http://coffee2words.wordpress.com

Currently reading

What Tomorrow May Bring
Deborah Rix, Shelbi Wescott, Joseph A. Turkot, David J. Normoyle, Cary Caffrey, Samantha Durante, Megan Thomason, Jenni Merritt, David Estes, Susan Kaye Quinn, Tony Bertauski

Three strikes and you're out!

— feeling angry
Poisoned Waters - Ermisenda Alvarez

Poisoned Waters sells itself as a tale of corruption. This is an apt description.

Not just from the character's POVs either. The writing style is one of the worst I've seen in recent months. It is written in a completely removed way. Passive voice alert! Not to mention the use of adjectives was abused almost as much as some of the characters in the story.

The amount of typos and issues in the text outside of the passive voice issue, were, thankfully minor. If they'd been more prominent I'd have had to stop reading.

Strike One!

My issues with the writing style and editing aside, the story was certainly complex. Everyone was screwing everyone else. Many people hit, punched, stabbed or just down right abused the female characters and when we did find a reasonably decent male character amongst the rabble, they were from a racial minority and pigeon-holed into the completely racist societal norms from the era this book is set.

Strike Two

I did not like any of the characters. I did not like the story very much and, that synopsis... Don't bring Helen into it. She's barely even in the story, she's not important. Hell, finding her murderer isn't even important.

The convoluted plot read more like an episode of Days of our Lives than a respectable novel. This needs a serious edit to cull the problems mentioned above and the seriously out of hand storyline and character arcs.

Now, the ending... This is where I was hoping to find some redeeming quality. Alas I was mistaken. I don't want to spoil the ending for any of you who are still to read this, but really... it was so unbelievable that I think I may have strained myself from rolling my eyes in disgust too much!

description

Strike Three - you're outta there!

Things I noticed:

4% - humbly stood (beside) him.
27% -'pleasure pearl' really?!
39% - She disliked being made (to) wait.
The man was no(ne) other than...
50ish% - since when did they know she had the pocket watch?
65% - "If (delete if, add Is) this all you wanted?"
66% "You're (delete You're, add Your) memory isn't...
74% - desolate desert... Desolate is redundant
88% - Several dozens (either several dozen, or just dozens)...
91% - amassed should be 'surrounded' or something similar.

**Note: I was provided an electronic copy of this book in return for an honest review**