Coffee2words

Inked is a 26 page erotic short story. It's pretty much a couple of scenes between a woman who gets a tattoo and the tattoo artist that gives it to her.

It's not a bad idea or necessarily a bad story, the characters are reasonable - if a little flat, but one expects that of titillation reads - but the execution was what killed it for me. There was some very basic writing things wrong with this, things like a lot of adverbs and adjectives that did nothing for the story. Also, there was a lot of repetition of the same words, a poor grasp on moving past the most basic sexual references and a lot of the content was cliche and has been done to death in the erotic industry.

I wouldn't bother with this one if you can't look past the above mentioned flaws, if you're keen for a super quick read that's reasonable (but does include anal on the first 'date'), give this a try.

Things I noticed:
27% - ...her curly blond(e) hair...
60% - ...tightened as she as (delete she as) Brody...
64% - ...kissed his was (delete s, replace with y) slowly...
69% - repetition of 'ever growing pile of clothes'. Reword.
- repetition of 'skilled mouth'.
- repetition of 'moist opening'
- "(delete space)Come for me" also put dialogue onto a new line.
-...chocked - replace with choked
73% - dialogue on new line.
- "Oh God." she(capitalise the s)
78% - "(delete space)Come for me...
83% - ...such as (delete as, replace an) intimate spot...
-...causing the tip (of) Brody's finger (to) penetrate...
87% - ...slowly plunge(d) further...
- accustom(ed)
92% - ...was great." she(capitalise s)...