I write, read and review, I blog frequently and love anything to do with books and writing, including editing. I am a Book Nerd and I wear that badge with pride. http://coffee2words.wordpress.com
Rating: 1.5 stars.
The themes of this story have been done before, have been done to death really, yet Emily does add her own spin on them. If you liked Twilight, you will probably enjoy this story, it has a lot of similarities.
I didn't like Reina, she ALWAYS needed to be saved, she seemed to make really stupid decisions and then allowed her family and friends to make up for them.
The murder story was really only a minor backstory to the rather excessive love triangle (there always seems to be a love triangle). I wanted to see more of that side of the story and less of the immensely boring drivel that spouted from Reina's mouth.
The twist ending was blatantly obvious from fairly early on, which could have been an epic set up to a better twist, but sadly fell well short of that.
I really disliked how every scene seemed to need an in depth description of everyone's clothes and repeated flowery prose about everyone's hair. If this was all removed, the story would probably be 1/4 shorter and better for it.
I mention it below in the things I noticed, but it felt like Emily spent entirely too long browsing through a thesaurus. There were weird word choices all the way through the book. While some readers won't find this a problem, for readers who are aware of things like that, this book will be horrendous. I stumbled through the scenes, often having to stop and re-read passages several times to work out the meaning. Why use an obscure word when a simple one would do the job better? An attempt at poetic writing perhaps?!
Ultimately, I didn't hate the book, but I really didn't enjoy it, the main themes were boring and the characters kind of annoying. I did enjoy the gentle brooding nature of Raoul, and the unabashed fashionista, Heath.
Things I noticed:
5% - weird verb choices. Not wrong, but make me think about the word choice. Makes me drop the story and wonder why she chose that word. Disruptive.
8% - overly flowery writing, gets in the way of the scene. Too many adjectives and adverbs.
12% - 'superfluous legs' what?!
Tianna starts off on a stool, then slides off a bench.
13% - 'Skip looked at (delete at) relaxed...'
17% - 'I couldn't simple (simply) sit there...'
18% - '...side of my neck me (delete me) and he covered...'
29% - 'O (Or) how you stand on my driveway...'
37% - whole scene was rushed and kind of pointless except to add info about Raoul.
38% - call him Dad, father, papa or Dr Caraway, not both!!!
43% - I thought she always wore pj bottoms and a tank to bed, not her grandmothers nightie.
45% -'No offense," he glanced at Skip" (remove second ")'
48% - 'I needed (to) let one of them go.'
50% - 'I;d(I'd) never kissed someone when lying...'
52% - very abrupt scene change after the forrest scene.
53% - Raoul called Rin, Rin not Reina.
54% - mum or Aurora, not both
56% - 'I permeated is (his) innermost...'
57% - 'Did I (delete I) his skin just quiver?'
68% - Change from 1st person to 3rd person. She looked up in surprise.
69% - she only wears black when she is happy, so why has she got it on now?
72% - peel, should be peal.
75% - '...good reason to wake up early.. (Delete second fullstop)
77% - '"he's (He) just values his privacy...'
77% - '(")Farewell, dear darling...'
81% - '...he wore s (a) crisp white...'
94% - the wings are already folded, no need to fold them again...