Coffee2words

*Sigh*

I had much higher hopes for Allison's debut story, but alas it wasn't to be!

The 330 pages felt a little more like 1330 pages by the end of the story. I was well and truly ready for the end. This was primarily because I didn't like Alex (the main female character of the story), I didn't like her to begin with - she was entirely too up herself and 'look at me I'm the hottest bitch in the room' for my liking, and after we got to the 'meat' of the story, I absolutely LOATHED her!

Liam was very swoon-worthy and he initially got my interest, especially the accent! Woo boy! Again, though, by the time we got to the main part of the story, my initial interest had waned to a serious disliking, although he'd still be totally 'shag-able!'

I had serious issues with the fantastical nature of the seemingly endless growth of Alex's ego and powers. It got so out of control at times I actually laughed at the improbability of it all.

I would have preferred to see this cropped back to a more respectable length, more detail put into the important scenes (even some of the not so important scenes) to give the reader more of a chance to become involved with the characters. I personally would like to see some of the stuck-up bitch taken out of Alex, but hey, you can't win them all.

There were some truly incredible plot points in this novel, it was a gallant attempt at pushing the boundaries, but it didn't quite get there. If you want to push them, go the whole hog! I was expecting more detail in the rough parts, which I didn't get. It seemed a little glossed over, like someone had already edited it and was uncomfortable with real graphical details. I wanted more!

Some things I noticed:

add
remove
note

1% - 'It wasn't until a few months ago that I truly became conscience conscious of it..'

2% - The use of 'path train' is confusing for anyone who doesn't live in the US. I had to look up what it was :)

13% - The Kyle/Liam scene is confusing and disjointed. Inserting explainer details (e.g. the briefcase) after the fact makes it harder to understand what is going on.

13% - 'I looked up, and a quick flash back to my nightmare burns in front of my face.' -The tense changes mid-sentence.

49% - "...But If if I hadn't done it when I did..."

59% - 'First he looked stunned, and then pissed that theythe guys didn't tie me up very well-'

61% - 'I moved to her so fast she, she couldn't have seen the movement.'

62% - "WhereWere you mad it wasn't from your doing?"

67% - "...if you loved me, you wouldn't have done the vialvile and disgusting things you did to me!"

95% - 'what Alice was going to learn thoughthrough Roger was that Liam...'

96% - 'Perhaps if she were determined enough, shouldshe could listen for the rats...'

NOTE: I receieved a copy of this book from the author in return for an honest review